TheTrueDane

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There are many things you don't know about Dane Golden.

[edit] Networks, computers, and the Internet

  • The series of tubes end at Dane. - Phopojijo
  • The TWiT Cottage doesn't have a single router. Dane routes each data packet manually. -- NiteInJail
  • The TWiT cottage has no firewall, it has Dane. -- ernie
  • Dane knows so much about everything that Linus is considering replacing /dev/random with /dev/dane. -- troubled
  • Dane's not the internet, but he did give Al Gore the idea. -- Chimaera
  • Dane's IP address is and always was 1.1.1.1 because no one is brave enough to take it away from him. -- NiteInJail
  • Dane is ip6 compatible so is address is REALLY 0:0:0:0:0:0:1.1.1.1 -- disturbed1
  • The only thing lower level than assembly language is Dane. -- troubled
  • Dane is the interpreter for assembly. -- NiteInJail
  • Assembly talks to Dane, Dane tells the processor what to do. -- Hipp
  • Dane took all the motors out of his raptor hard drives because he can spin them faster with his finger. -- troubled
  • Apple doesn't have a machine to cut the aluminum bricks... that's Dane's night job. -- NiteInJail
  • Assembler is built upon Dane. -- aztekman
  • Dane's actual IP address is 127.0.0.1 because Dane knows there's no place like home -- Ikon

[edit] Netcasts, podcasts and TWiT

  • Dane doesn't do podcasting because he can't bear the thought of Leo being unemployed. -- Hipp
  • Dane designed and built the TWiT cottage with both hands behind his back. -- Colleen and JimBednarz
  • Mondays and Fridays aren't live because Dane saw them first. -- Phopojijo
  • There is no 'CTRL' button on Dane Golden's computer. Leo is always in control. -- aztekman
  • There is a teleprompter behind the cameras at the TWiT cottage. Dane feeds Leo all of his lines. -- JimBednarz
  • Dane didn't fix the Tricaster... everyone needs a nemesis. -Phopojijo
  • Someone once suggested to Dane that TWiT was not the best podcasting network on the web. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake ever made. - pcubed
  • If Dane were in a fight with Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer... well... he would totally get his butt kicked. BUT he would still show up to work the next day. -- thefrogman

[edit] Other facts

  • Dane's genome is GC-rich - marcpelletier
  • Dane can speak French in Russian.
  • Dane's primary objective is to kill John Connor, then to go back in time and kill him again.
  • Dane doesn't need a mic, his telepathy is plenty powerful enough
  • When someone asks Dane to open a jar. It opens itself out of fear. -- Wmrodgers3
  • Dane doesn't listen to the radio, the radio listens to Dane. -- bwoogie
  • Dane is so Great they named a dog after him -- Dan
  • The Oracle from the Matrix was Dane's 2nd Grade Science Project --shriansh
  • Dane knows how babby is formed - talyx
  • Dane is Golden. - Darth Emma
  • When Leo cries, Dane sheds a tear.
  • Midi-chlorians have Dane flowing in THEIR veins. -- ernie
  • Danes a lover, not a fighter..but he's also a fighter so don't get any funny ideas. -- ernie
  • Dane is the active ingredient in Brain Toniq. -- marmot
  • Only Dane can cut Dane. -- Colleen
  • Kevin Rose dugg Dane. -- ernie
  • Thanks to Colleen, Dane is liquid cooled.
  • Dane was the first choice as the lead in the Lion King. --Shriansh
  • Dane wasn't born, he was compiled. -- NiteInJail
  • Dane wrote a jingle for Geoff Smith. -- ernie
  • President Obama has a poster of Dane with the words "Yes you can!" under it -- ernie
  • Dane Golden has 6 toes. -- Dan
  • Some say that he was born in the Amazon, and vacations in Siberia. All we know is, he's called the Dane. -- Chimaera
  • Dane has never had to log into anything. Fate just finds a way. -- Chimaera
  • Dane Golden can produce two shows with one Tony. -- aztekman
  • Dane's charm can be seen from space... -- ernest_acuna
  • Dane punches in for work and Leo punches him out -- NiteInJail
  • Dane was created in a lab using Leo's DNA -- JimBednarz
  • Dane once built a city with toy blocks, now 50,000 people live and work there. -- ernest_acuna
  • Dane Golden is impervious to bullets -- Chimaera
  • Dane speaks 48 languages including C++. -- JimBednarz
  • Dane Golden is actually made of airplane grade titanium -- ernest_acuna
  • Dane's heart is an overclocked Intel Processor @ 22 GhZ. -- NiteInJail
  • The police bring Dane in for questioning at least once a week, just because they find him so interesting. -- ernest_acuna
  • Thanks to Colleen, Dane is now water cooled. -- Hipp
  • If you look at Dane's blood through a microscope you'll see 1's and 0's. -- JimBednarz
  • Leo is actually only part time at TWiT. He also rewrites for Spielberg, advises Obama and tells Jobs what to do. -- NiteInJail
  • Dane is so strong that instead of using rocket fuel to put satellites into space, they just get Dane to throw them into orbit. -- troubled
  • When Dane does push ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down. -- troubled
  • Dane has to avoid whistling while he walks because everyone's mouse unplugs and follows him. -- NiteInJail
  • When Dane goes for a swim, dolphins appear, and the water is always a little cleaner. -- ernest_acuna
  • When the Earth slows down, Dane goes running. -- aztekman
  • The TWiT cottage doesn't run on electricity. It runs on Dane's energy. -- JimBednarz
  • Dane is so good at whistling that he doesn't need to use buttons on a touch tone phone. -- troubled
  • Dane = iPhone 1.0 beta. -- NiteInJail
  • Dane was on the grassy knoll... planting grass. -- Chimaera
  • Dane doesn't sweat, he buffer overflows. -- NiteInJail
  • When Dane sleeps, Leo is no longer A.D.D. -- NiteInJail
  • Dane's neural patterns have provided the basis for US missile guidance systems since 1983. -- Chimaera
  • Dane doesn't have veins he has integrated circuits -- NiteInJail
  • "Dane" is the real coupon code for Carbonite and NOD32 -- Chimaera
  • The secret to LED technology is Dane's warm breath. -- Chimaera
  • Dane doesn't shave, he punches himself in the face. -- Colleen
  • Dane wills his stubble into submission. -- Chimaera
  • Dane's stubble is too frightened to stand up. -- aztekman
  • Dane's eyesight is so good he watches blu-ray movies by staring at the disc. -- troubled
  • Dane is so fast they gave him away instead of the UGM! -- troubled
  • Dane is actually a shape-shifter and is all of Leo's co-hosts. -- JimBednarz
  • Dane acts as Leo's Secret Service agent in cases of attack. -- J5_JHallgren
  • Dane is not allowed to travel abroad for national security reasons. -- NiteInJail
  • Who's Dane? -- morguepie
  • Yoda was Dane's Apprentice -- shriansh
  • Dane's manhood was forged in the vacuum of space with unknown alloys smuggled out of Groom Lake, NV. -- Scorpus
  • Dane is secretly Canadian... He will return soon with all his gathered intelligence -- CalgaryGuru
  • The Sun must ask for Dane's permission to rise each morning. -- cluteman
  • Dane is Yoga Master. -- Theatremonkey
  • Dane is the wind beneath my wigs. -- Leo
  • Dane is the big dog of Twit Cottage; mention Great Dane, Ozzy growls -- decjr
  • Dane is crazy like a fox.
  • Dane thinks you're the greatest and would like to brush your hair. -- Matt
  • When Cuddling, dane is both the spooner and the spoonee
  • Dane and Ozzy vie for Leo's attention, and Dane is losing. -- motionblur
  • Leo ensured Ozzy's safety by adding "Official Food Taster" to Dane's job description. -- motionblur
  • There can be only one. That one, is Dane. - Techzen
  • Dane can count the versions of Windows and end up at 7. - cHileman
  • Dane can see 3D movies without the glasses. - cHileman
  • Dane used to be on a couple dating sites but was voted off cause none of the other guys on the site could get a date. - cHileman
  • ThinkGeek sells a shirt that says "Dane reads your email" - cHileman
  • Leo's character Dev Null wasn't rendered on a mainframe, Dane drew every frame by hand in real time. - cHileman
  • Most people don't know that Dane is the root word of 'dangerous' - cHileman
  • There's a new simulator coming out for the iPhone called xDane. Run it and your iPhone melts. -cHileman
  • dane once moved the cottage 6 inches cause leo was upset at the sun --KevinH
  • When Leo writes the paychecks, the money comes out of Dane's pocket --DickieD
  • Why is Windows 7 so good? Windows 7 is 99.9% Dane Golden. --misterIQ
  • Steve Jobs doesn't actually run Apple, he's just Dane's puppet. -cHileman
  • When asked about Danes Galactic fame Ulan Calufid of Vilt-vodel6 says "Dane! He's just zis guy you know" --ramriot
  • 'Fake Dane' on twitter is really Dane's subconscious acting out --ramriot
  • Dane has one child, ASIMO, who now lives at Honda Laboratories.
  • Dane could buy the Internet, but only Leo could afford the shipping. -- Stu
  • If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Dane Golden. -- Portista
  • Steve Jobs is writing Dane's biography -- Stu
  • Dane recently purchased Window's Vista. Bill Gates is now out of a job and "Windows 7" is on the way. -Bad Oscar
  • The "Ultimate" was only added to Windows Vista after a picture of Dane was included with every copy. -- Stu
  • Dane is one of the "unspecified features" that is only available in Windows 7 Ultimate. -- Imperator3733
  • Larry Ellison thinks he's Dane -- Stu
  • Dane goes to 12
  • Dane exists in a virtual private reality, but can be accessed with an appropriate Firefox plugin.
  • When Dane jumps, Leo gets how high?
  • Dane is the missing Cylon
  • Podcasts should be renamed Danecasts
  • They make fuel cells from Dane's sweat
  • Vēnī, vīdī, Dane vīcī! ("I came, I saw, Dane conquered.") -- Samic
  • Dane...nuff said
  • Humans have never really flown to the moon, it was a hoax... but Dane pulled the moon down into the studio first for the filming of it. -- ScotsmanRS
  • Dane Golden can run one TWiT Cottage. His brother Dane Platinum can run two. -- JimTheFly
  • Before Dane came into being, Steve Jobs was named Steve Unemployment. -- JimTheFly
  • Dane Golden doesn't sleep, he loses consciousness. -- Dane
Retrieved from "http://wiki.twit.tv/wiki/TheTrueDane"
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